How many times in our life do we look back to the past with longing? How many times do we wish we could return to a certain period of time in our lives? How many times do we look back on a past relationship and think about the “what if?” How many times do we look back on the past with regrets?

I admit that I spent most of my life looking in the past instead of being in the present, in the now. Many times we do not realize we are focusing on the past. For instance, not forgiving someone for a past hurt, or not being able to move on from a hurt is to be living in the past. The way in which I set my eye changed when God awakened my heart to the perspective I had become accustomed. He changed my heart and desire through the reading of His living word.

In 2009, as a result of the housing industry crash, my husband and I had no choice, but to sell our house in a short sale. This means that we sold the house for less than it was purchased because the value of homes had dropped. It was a house that we loved and had no plans moving from. Over the years we had remodeled almost the whole house, including the pool area. We loved the house, our neighbors, the neighborhood and location.

In 2014 we were beginning to recover financially and were able to qualify for a mortgage and purchase a home. I had become a Christian earlier in the year and was reading through the Bible for the first time. As I studied the Bible the Holy Spirit was changing my heart. I realized how impatient and selfish I was in the past. I wanted what I wanted and did not really care about my husband’s desires.

When we began our search for a new home I wanted to glorify God instead of glorifying myself as I had done in the past. I wanted to honor my husband, respect his wishes and have patience while looking for this house. I was excited to try this new approach, this new way of life and hoped to see the good from glorifying God and honoring my husband.

While we were looking for a new home my mind kept traveling back in the past to the house we had to sell in the short sale. I kept longing for that house and wishing we could repurchase it and move back next to our favorite neighbors. In the meantime, our house search kept hitting dead ends. Every time we found a house that was available there was something about it that my husband did not like, or there was something about it that we did not agree on.

As soon as I saw that we were not in agreement on a house, I withdrew my interest because I did not want to push my husband into buying a house that I liked and he did not. This happened several times. There were even a few times when we were going to place an offer on a house and found out someone had placed an offer earlier in the day. There were not many houses available and it seemed as though nothing was going our way. It seemed as though the rug was being pulled out from under us with every house we were interested in. Meanwhile, my mind kept traveling back to our old house.

During this time in my Bible reading I read how the Israelites kept wanting to go back to Egypt because of the food they were able to eat. Exodus 16:3 “And the people of Israel said to them, “Would that we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.” They were so blind. All they could see were themselves.

First, God heard their cries for years as they were slaves in Egypt. He answered their prayers and delivered them out of slavery. Within three days of the Israelites being saved, they began to complain and spoke of how they wished to go back to Egypt because they had water there. Secondly, God heard their complaints about wanting clean, fresh water to drink and He provided water for them. Soon they began to complain again because they remembered the delicious food they had in Egypt. Thirdly, God, again, heard them and provided manna for them every day. The manna was still not good enough. Now they wanted meat.

It did not matter what God did for them, in their eyes it was not enough. They continually complained and blamed Moses for bringing them out of Egypt. They blamed Moses for everything. Every time they complained to Moses and blamed him they cried out how they had these things in Egypt. They were slaves in Egypt, but, in their eyes, at least they had water and good food.

I learned two very important valuable lessons when I read about the sin of the Israelites. Every time they complained and blamed Moses for their inconvenience, they were really blaming and sinning against God. Secondly, every time they compared the food in Egypt to the food in the wilderness they wished to go back to the past. They were willing to go back to slavery because they liked the food! They seemed to forget that when they had the food in Egypt they cried to God to be freed from slavery.

They could not be satisfied because they were looking for happiness in things instead of looking to God. Their sin and self centeredness was so great, that nothing could make them happy. They were constantly looking back to the past and focusing on one part of the past that seemed better than what they currently had in the wilderness. What did they have in the wilderness? The had freedom from slavery, God providing all of their needs and they had the presence of God with them. They had God with them, in a cloud by day and in fire by night, and it still was not enough. They were not content with what God had provided for them. They were not content with God. God was not enough.

This realization was a slap in the face for me. I thought back to the time I lived in the house I longed for and remembered that when I lived there I was not a Christian. I saw how my looking back and yearning for the comforts of that house was sinning against God. I saw I was not being thankful to God for providing for me and for where He had presently brought me. I was sinning and wishing to go back to a time when I was not a Christian as long as I could live in that house. I was acting just like the Israelites. My thoughts of longing for my old home, in the eyes of God, amounted to me saying I was willing to give up my freedom in Christ to live in the comforts of my previous house. I was not living in the present. I was living in the past.

Is not what the Israelites had what we have today in Jesus? We are free from judgment, He provides for us and His life is within us by the power of the Holy Spirit. Is that not enough for us? How many times in our lives do we complain or wish for the past, for things to be different, to have more money, success, or material things, because if we have those things we will then be content, fulfilled and happy. The Israelites thought the same way, but because of their sin they could not see God and be content with what God had provided for them. They could only see what brought them pleasure. Pleasure is not long lasting, it is only temporary.

Jesus saved us from the slavery of our sin, provided for us as the payment that we could not provide for ourselves and has given us life, life in Him. When we are content and fulfilled in Jesus we can then be content with whatever God has provided for us and not wish for the grass that seems greener on the other side.

As soon as I saw my sin, I humbly repented and asked for forgiveness. Within a week or so a house came on the market that seemed perfect and was priced around the same price we sold our previous home in the short sale. The homes were selling so fast, so we immediately scheduled a showing through our realtor. We could not believe that house was still available. It had been on the market for about three days.

I immediately saw the similarities when we walked up to the house, but everything seemed to be a little bit better. The outside was everything that my husband had wanted in a house. Within two minutes of walking inside the house we knew it was the house we both wanted. We both loved it. It was the same model house as the one we sold in the short sale, but flipped. The bedrooms were on the other side of the house.

In the house we previously sold we had remodeled every room in the house except the master bath. In this house every room had been remodeled except the children’s bathroom. The dining room was designed the way I wished it would have been designed in our previous house. I knew this was an act of mercy from God. By letting go of the past and what I thought would bring me happiness, I was able to rely on God to provide for us. I let go of what I though I wanted from the past and He brought such a blessing to us. I let go of my selfish desire and desired to glorify God. I wanted to desire what God’s desire was.

God was so merciful and gracious to us. After moving in the new house the man who used to mow the lawn for the previous owners stopped at the house one day when he saw my husband outside. He told my husband how lucky he was because he had been waiting for the day that house would come on the market because he wanted to buy it. When my husband told me this, I again, thanked God for this blessing.

I thank God for moving me from the house of the past and for bringing me to where I am today. The house I’m living in really is not the most important thing to me. The most important thing to me is that now I have God in my life, I personally know Jesus, I have been freed from the slavery of sin and I have life in Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus is truly my home, not my earthy house.

Oh, One other thing, this new house is two minutes away from our last home. What a gracious, merciful and loving God we have.

1. Where or who are you looking back to and desiring from the past?
2. What area in your life are you looking back instead of living in the present?
3. Where do you find yourself thinking the grass is greener on the other side? If you only had what the Jones had?
4. Where do you find yourself thinking you know you would be happy if you had a different job, spouse, house, more money, car, body, etc?
5. Is Jesus enough for you? Does Jesus provide you with what you need, or are you always looking for something better?