Tag: Bible

When Doubt Takes Over, Fear Can Reign

To admit that we do not have or are in complete control is something our prideful hearts do not like to hear, consider, or accept. We like to think we are in complete control of ourselves, our desires, all circumstances we live in and the outcome. If something happens in a way we do not like, we may find someone or something to blame. We may look to cast blame because we will not dare look within or at ourselves. But, if something goes our way we are more likely to instantly look at ourself and give ourselves the credit.

We may not like someone telling us what to do or how to live, but we increase the depth of our prideful heart by telling others what to do and how to live according to our view of what is right or wrong. We have become our own authority and think very highly of ourselves. We may tend to look at the lives of other people in our network of family and friends and begin to take a critical look at them from the outside looking in without realizing we are and have been standing in quicksand.

When something is broken we tend to want to fix it, even if the broken thing is a person. We rationalize our behavior by convincing ourselves that we are helping to fix this broken person. We begin to give this person advice on how to change their circumstances or life. But, what usually happens? This person does not take our perfect, right, advice and we may become angry. Why can we become angry? Because our motivation was never really about wanting what was best for the other person, it was really about ourself. We now think we are this person’s savior.

But, we have all the answers to fix them, right? If she would just do what we told her to do, her life would be better and on the right path. Why can he or she not see how perfect my advice is and just do what I say? We tell ourselves that if we were in that same situation as he or she is, this is how we would handle things, so he should do it my way. Does this sound familiar? We have now just become their judge. We now think all of our views are the right ones and judge anyone who does, thinks, or believes anything differently than what we judge as right or wrong.

Our pride of self can be so full that we feel we can control other people and can change them. That ultimately means that we think we are their God. To think we are their God means we think we are God. Here lies the most important factor to consider; the desire of the heart. We may actually think we can change the desire of someone’s heart if he or she would just do what we tell them. The truth is, we cannot change the inward desire of one’s mind, not even our own. Only God can.

The hardest truth for many to hear is not only can we not change the desire of someone’s mind, we do not have the ability to change the desire of our own heart. If we could, there would not be any sort of addiction/idol on this planet. You quit smoking on your own, you say? Your desire to create an idol out of something or someone is still in your heart. If you truly look within and conduct a self examination, by God’s grace, your eyes will see. You will see that the greatest idol is the idolizing of self. Since the fall to sin in Adam, our desire is for ourselves; to be God. That inward sinful desire of the heart can only be changed by the merciful, grace filled effectual call of God, through Jesus Christ, by the power of The Holy Spirit. In Jesus we receive freedom from our slavery to sin.

1 John 1:8,10 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth(Spirit) is not in us. If we say we have not sinned, we make (God) a liar, and His word(Spirit) is not in us.

John 8:34 Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.”

Ephesians 2:3 We all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

Romans 8:7 For the mind that is set on the flesh (sinful desire) is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.

John 3:20 “For everyone who does wicked things hates the light (Jesus) and does not come to the light (Jesus), lest his works should be exposed.”

Psalm 10:4 In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, “There is no God.”

Romans 3: 10-11 “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands, no one seeks God.”

John 6:44, 65 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day.” And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.”

Romas 9:16 So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy.

Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Ephesians 2:1-2, 4-5 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked….But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ — by grace you have been saved.

When I first became a Christian, my faith, as well as the truth of the Bible, was challenged by a few people. I defended my faith as well as a new Christian with limited Biblical wisdom could, but I found my own doubts of the Bible’s truth creeping about in my mind. As much as my desire was not to doubt the truth of the Bible, I could not make it go away! The more my doubts surfaced in my mind the more I began to panic.

One evening after enduring the most heavily challenged conversation about my faith since becoming a Christian, I came across a documentary that questioned who Jesus is and if what the Bible says is true about Him. I only saw a minute or so of it, but it was enough to set me over the edge. My wisdom of the Bible was not rooted deep enough to fight these attempts by the devil to turn me away from God. I did not yet have God’s word ready in my head to ward off doubt. Christianity was still new to me. I had been studying the Bible for a short period of time and there was still so much to learn so I could be deeply rooted in my faith and wisdom.

In my state of panic, I was scared, so looked outside of myself for help. I turned to the only One I knew could help me. I turned to God and prayed for Him to show me the truth. In my state of panic and doubt, at that moment, I could have turned away from God and just decided that there was no way the Bible was true. But, the desire of my heart was to know God and to trust Him. I already knew that the only reason I had a desire in my heart for God was because I am His and He placed His effectual call upon me. But, what God recently showed me, is that the only reason I even turned to Him and prayed to Him in that moment is because I am His.

In the book of John chapter 6, the circumstances of the doubt that I went through as a new Christian were spoken of by Jesus. The situation begins with Jesus teaching how he is symbolically the bread of life and the true food. He says, “If anyone eats of this bread he will live forever. The bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.” The people around Him are new to the teachings of Jesus. They misunderstand and take His words literally. They say, “How can the man give us his flesh to eat?”

Therefore, when many of His disciples heard this, they said, “This teaching is hard. Who can accept it?” Jesus knows that his disciples are complaining about Him, so he asks them, “Does this offend you?” (John 6:60-61) Jesus explains,”The Spirit is the one who gives life. The flesh doesn’t help at all. The words I have spoken to you are Spirit and are life. But there are some among you who do not believe.” He said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted to him by the Father.” (63-65)

The disciples complain that the teaching of Jesus is too hard to understand, so how could they accept it? Here they are at a crucial point. Will they stay with Jesus, or will they turn away and refuse to accept Jesus’ teaching as truth because it is too hard to understand?

From that moment many of his disciples turned back and no longer accompanied him. So Jesus said to the twelve, “You don’t want to go away too, do you?” Simon Peter answered, “Lord, to whom will we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” Jesus replied to them, “Didn’t I choose you, the twelve?” (John 6:66-70)

Many of the early disciples were not genuine disciples of Christ, for they turned back. Their initial “faith” was not genuine. They may have been following Jesus only because of the physical benefits he gave, such as healing and multiplying food. As soon as the teaching exposed the doubt in their hearts, became hard to understand and accept, they all turned away. But, if they would have stayed with Jesus, over time, they would have had their wisdom increased and would have come to understand Jesus’ teachings. Of the twelve remaining disciples Jesus says, “Didn’t I choose you?” The twelve disciples stayed because He chose them.

Knowing that God chose me brings me comfort, and humbles me. It is humbling because knowing that God chose me takes away all potential prideful boasting that it was out of my greatness to pray to God for the truth that evening. I would not have been able to make the decision to turn to God and pray if I had not already belonged to Him. According to scripture, if the decision was left up to me, in my state of sinful fallenness, I would not desire to know God. The desire of my heart would be for the self and to be God. I only desire to know God because He desires to know me and loves me. It is freeing to know that God has His hold upon me and He is NOT going to let me go.

Take a moment and conduct a self examination of your heart. Do you have a desire to know God? If not, do you long for a desire to know God? If you have a desire to know God, or even wish you had a desire to know God, His Spirit is already working within you. Giving up control and selfish pride is a little scary at first, but once you surrender to God and ask Jesus into your heart, your fear is turned into contentment and joy!

Are you a new believer who has not opened the Bible because you are afraid you will not understand, or are you early on in your Biblical education and unsure about what you are reading? Do not turn away! I stared at my Bible for a month before I opened it the first time because it looked like a book of foreign language to me. The more you read and study God’s word the easier it becomes to understand. As time goes on and you deepen your study, new and deeper wisdom will be revealed to you by God.

Solid trusted Biblical teaching is highly important because there are many people out there teaching false interpretations of the Bible. A red flag is if someone is not speaking of our sin and the need for Jesus Christ. Be careful of the denominations who do not believe Jesus is God and only believe He was a prophet.

I study with an ESV Study Bible. I highly recommend a study Bible. It includes the interpretations of scripture on every page. If you are new to the Bible, I recommend you start reading with the book of John. After you read John, then start at the beginning of the New Testament in the book of Matthew. Once you read the whole New Testament and feel comfortable, then start reading the Old Testament beginning in Genesis.

If you are not yet a believer in Christ, I invite you to come to Jesus just as you are! Repent (change your ways), ask Jesus for forgiveness and ask Him into your heart so you may have eternal life with Him! You do not need to clean your act up before you come to Jesus. He wants you just as you are! Come to Jesus, come!

The Lamb: Passover and The Lamb of God

If we lack a desire to personally know Jesus through studying the Bible we will miss out on deeper wisdom to be revealed by God. The result of our actions leave a hole in our faith, a hole in our understanding of the Gospel, a hole in complete understanding of the sermons we sit preached under, a hole in our personal growth, a hole in our life, and a hole in our heart.

As I began a slow and steady study of the Bible five years ago, God began to reveal wisdom to me that can not be known by skimming through the Bible, or randomly picking through scripture to fit the emotion you are feeling or the subject you are in need of guidance. When we randomly pick out scripture without understanding the entire picture of how the scripture works together with the whole Bible, scripture can be taken out of context, or used as proof of a distorted belief that is not truly supported in God’s Word.

For those who only study the New Testament and think the Old Testament is just a nice book of history, not relevant, or worth studying, I pray you will see below how everything in the New Testament is first rooted in the Old Testament. If you view the Bible as two separate books and do not study the Bible as a whole you are missing significant wisdom revealed by God. Be prepared to get a glimpse of the wisdom you are lacking if you do not thoughtfully and carefully study God’s Word.

With Easter approaching, God placed upon my heart, the Passover event in the Old Testament and why Jesus is said to be the Lamb of God. We must, therefore, begin in the Old Testament. Early in the Old Testament the Israelites are said to be God’s chosen people through whom God would send the Messiah (Jesus). The Israelites eventually settled in Egypt and, over time, grew in number. They were believed to have grown to a total of over two million. The Egyptian Pharaoh became fearful that if there were a war, the Israelites would join the enemies. He decided to oppress them, hoping to reduce their number by forced labor. But, Instead of their number reducing, their numbers multiplied.

When this plan failed, Satan moved Pharaoh to have all first born Hebrew males to be put to death. We must remember that there is a spiritual war taking place. Satan does not want Jesus to come to Earth and crush his head and beat death through the fulfilling of God’s plan. Satan also used Herod to kill all the male babies in Bethlehem at the time of the birth of Jesus. We must stay focused on who our enemy truly is because we tend to only focus on the person and neglect to remember the spiritual war truly taking place.

The Egyptian mid-wives did not listen to the Pharaoh’s order of murder and allowed babies to live. Moses survived birth, but at three months old, his Mother did not feel she could conceal him any longer. She placed him in a basket, where he was found by and Egyptian Princess. Although she knew he was Hebrew, she decided to save him. God allowed Moses to be raised with the Egyptians. This gave him the Egyptian background to prepare him for the work that lay ahead.

The Egyptians were pagan because they worshiped the creation, rather than the Creator. They worshipped animals such as birds, bulls, cows, crocodiles, and snakes. The Pharaoh was considered a god, although he was truly only human. Because Egypt turned to Satan with their pagan worship, God brought judgment upon Egypt with the ten plagues. Through these plagues God showed them that he is the all powerful true God and their pagan gods did not have any power.

Egyptian’s approximately eighty gods and goddesses centered around the three earthly creations, the Nile, the sun, and the land. The plagues were targeted against these earthly creations and the gods and goddess that centered around each one. The first two plagues were directed against the gods and goddesses of the Nile and anything associated with the Nile. Four plagues were targeted against the gods and goddesses of the land. The last four were targeted against the gods and goddesses of the sky and anything associated with the sky.

The Pharaoh was thought to be the earthly incarnation of the sun god, Ra, so the tenth plague, death of the firstborn, was against the sky. The Pharaoh’s firstborn son would have been the next incarnation of the sun god, Ra. The death of the firstborn was a horrible judgment, but also a fitting judgment. Remember, years earlier, Pharaoh had ordered the death of all male Israelite children. This act from God was not an act of cruelty, it was an act of judgment against the gods they worshipped and the cruel treatment enacted against the Israelites. Not only did the firstborn of all families die, but the firstborn of all the animals also died.

The Israelites received instructions from God to carry out so their firstborn children would be saved on the night this judgment would come upon Egypt. Each Hebrew family was to take a firstborn male lamb from their flock. The lamb had to be one year old and without blemish or spot. It had to be perfect, with no broken bones. The lamb was to be killed at twilight on the specified day and the blood was to be collected. They were to use a brush and spread the blood on both sides of the door frame and on the lintel at the top of the door. These three marks made with blood were to be a sign to God. As the destroyer passed through the land, the households with the sign would not be stricken with death. Those households would be passed over. Death indeed would come to each household, but it would be the death of a lamb, not their firstborn. The lamb was their substitute. This is the origin of Passover.

Each lamb was to be roasted and eaten. Any uneaten parts were to be burned, not eaten. The Israelites were to celebrate Passover with a feast celebration every year, so that their children would ask why they celebrated Passover. This would keep the remembrance of Passover and what God did for His people on the minds of His people for generations.

If Pharaoh would have truly been the incarnate sun god, the most powerful force, he should have been able to save his people from death. But, Pharaoh had no power. He was not a god, nor were any of the other gods they created as their idols of worship. Some of their gods were gods of animals, but they were unable to save the animals, because they were not gods at all. By the carrying out of God’s judgment upon Egypt and their gods, the Egyptians must have realized that their gods of Egypt were nothing and were powerless.

Do not think that the Israelites were special, or did anything to deserve special treatment from God. They were just as sinful and guilty as the Egyptians. If they had not marked their houses with the blood of the lamb, their firstborn children would have also perished. The Bible says they had worshiped other gods just like the Egyptians. We are not special either, or better than another. We are all sinners in need of God’s grace because sin brings the penalty of death.

Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sin or salvation. The lamb had to die and his blood had to be shed. This Passover event in the Old Testament points to the coming of Jesus in the New Testament, as the Lamb of God. In the New Testament, Hebrews 10:4 says, “The shed blood of bulls and goats can not take away sin.” This means that these things are a picture, looking forward to the coming of Jesus, who is the perfect sacrifice for our sins. 1 Peter 1:19 says, “….but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot.” Paul says in 1 Corinthians 5:7, “…For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.” And, finally, when Jesus approached John the Baptist, John loudly declares in John 1:29, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.”

In the New Testament, as the Passover is being celebrated, Jesus meets with his disciples in an upper room. He eats the Passover meal with them and says in Matt 26:26-28, “Jesus took the bread, blessed and broke it, gave it to the disciples and said, “take and eat it; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and after giving thanks, he gave it to them and said, “Drink from it, all of you. For this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.”

In summary:

  1. In the Old Testament the Israelite families must choose a perfect lamb, without blemish, spot, or broken bones. In the New Testament Jesus is chosen by God. Jesus is perfect, sinless, and dies on the cross without a bone broken.
  2. Because God is Good and Just, there must be a penalty for sin. That penalty is death. In the Old Testament God is enacting His judgment upon Egypt with the death of their firstborn. God gives the Israelites a lamb to be killed as their substitute instead of the death of their firstborn. These families were passed over by the destroyer. In the New Testament Jesus is our Passover Lamb. He is our substitute, took on our sin, and received the penalty of death that we deserved. By doing this, judgment has passed over us so that we may have eternal life instead of the judgment of Hell.
  3. In the OT there must be a shedding of blood for the forgiveness of sins. Not only was the lambs blood shed, it was also brushed on their door frames as a sign to God. In ancient times when two men entered into a covenant (a binding agreement) together there was a shedding of animals blood as a sign and seal of the covenant. God continually tells us throughout the OT that He made a covenant with us. That binding covenantal agreement was the promise of eternal life with us. In the NT Jesus’ blood was shed as the payment for the penalty of our sin and also as a sign of the covenant with God. Jesus, fully God and fully Man, shed his own blood to give us life so that we may have eternal life in Heaven with Him.
  4. In the OT the lamb must be eaten. In the NT Jesus eats a Passover meal with his Disciples and says that the bread is his body and the wine is his blood. They are commanded to eat it in remembrance of Him. Eating the bread and wine also symbolizes the eating of the lamb since Jesus is considered the Lamb of God.
  5. In the OT the lamb is killed in preparation for death to be passed over them(the Passover). Jesus died on the day of preparation for Passover.
  6. In the OT The Israelites were to celebrate the Passover with a feast of celebration every year in remembrance of what God did for them. In the NT we are commanded to partake in The Lords Supper in remembrance of what The Lamb of God did for us and as a foretaste of the feast of celebration to come upon His return and our gathering into Heaven for eternity.

The progression of sacrifice:

  1. Death as a penalty for sin began with Adam and Eve in the garden, with God providing the sacrifice. One animal for each individual.
  2. During the Passover, the shedding of the blood of the lamb protected a whole family.
  3. While the Israelites were out in the wilderness, the high priest confessed the sins of an entire nation over an animal before it was killed.
  4. When Jesus, the Lamb, sacrificed His life, one Lamb took away the sins of the world. God provided the ultimate sacrifice to save us, because we were unable to fulfill the payment due, by sacrificing Himself, his own life, in the person of Jesus.
  5. This is the progression of sacrifice; individual, family, nation, and the whole world.

If your eyes have been opened to see this wisdom that is also revealed through the study of His word, I pray that you are filled with a desire to begin or continue a thorough study of the Bible. I pray that you will desire to know Jesus personally if you currently do not have a personal relationship with Him.

If the Bible sits on your shelf and looks like a book of foreign language, I recommend that you have a Bible that is a study Bible so that you may read the interpretation along with the scripture. I have an ESV study Bible. If you have never opened the Bible, I recommend that you start with the book of John in the New Testament. If you feel comfortable after reading John, Start with the book of Matthew and read through the New Testament. Once you have your foundation of Jesus I recommend you begin reading in Genesis.

The Wilderness: Seeing Ourselves in the Israelites

How many times in our life do we look back to the past with longing? How many times do we wish we could return to a certain period of time in our lives? How many times do we look back on a past relationship and think about the “what if?” How many times do we look back on the past with regrets?

I admit that I spent most of my life looking in the past instead of being in the present, in the now. Many times we do not realize we are focusing on the past. For instance, not forgiving someone for a past hurt, or not being able to move on from a hurt is to be living in the past. The way in which I set my eye changed when God awakened my heart to the perspective I had become accustomed. He changed my heart and desire through the reading of His living word.

In 2009, as a result of the housing industry crash, my husband and I had no choice, but to sell our house in a short sale. This means that we sold the house for less than it was purchased because the value of homes had dropped. It was a house that we loved and had no plans moving from. Over the years we had remodeled almost the whole house, including the pool area. We loved the house, our neighbors, the neighborhood and location.

In 2014 we were beginning to recover financially and were able to qualify for a mortgage and purchase a home. I had become a Christian earlier in the year and was reading through the Bible for the first time. As I studied the Bible the Holy Spirit was changing my heart. I realized how impatient and selfish I was in the past. I wanted what I wanted and did not really care about my husband’s desires.

When we began our search for a new home I wanted to glorify God instead of glorifying myself as I had done in the past. I wanted to honor my husband, respect his wishes and have patience while looking for this house. I was excited to try this new approach, this new way of life and hoped to see the good from glorifying God and honoring my husband.

While we were looking for a new home my mind kept traveling back in the past to the house we had to sell in the short sale. I kept longing for that house and wishing we could repurchase it and move back next to our favorite neighbors. In the meantime, our house search kept hitting dead ends. Every time we found a house that was available there was something about it that my husband did not like, or there was something about it that we did not agree on.

As soon as I saw that we were not in agreement on a house, I withdrew my interest because I did not want to push my husband into buying a house that I liked and he did not. This happened several times. There were even a few times when we were going to place an offer on a house and found out someone had placed an offer earlier in the day. There were not many houses available and it seemed as though nothing was going our way. It seemed as though the rug was being pulled out from under us with every house we were interested in. Meanwhile, my mind kept traveling back to our old house.

During this time in my Bible reading I read how the Israelites kept wanting to go back to Egypt because of the food they were able to eat. Exodus 16:3 “And the people of Israel said to them, “Would that we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.” They were so blind. All they could see were themselves.

First, God heard their cries for years as they were slaves in Egypt. He answered their prayers and delivered them out of slavery. Within three days of the Israelites being saved, they began to complain and spoke of how they wished to go back to Egypt because they had water there. Secondly, God heard their complaints about wanting clean, fresh water to drink and He provided water for them. Soon they began to complain again because they remembered the delicious food they had in Egypt. Thirdly, God, again, heard them and provided manna for them every day. The manna was still not good enough. Now they wanted meat.

It did not matter what God did for them, in their eyes it was not enough. They continually complained and blamed Moses for bringing them out of Egypt. They blamed Moses for everything. Every time they complained to Moses and blamed him they cried out how they had these things in Egypt. They were slaves in Egypt, but, in their eyes, at least they had water and good food.

I learned two very important valuable lessons when I read about the sin of the Israelites. Every time they complained and blamed Moses for their inconvenience, they were really blaming and sinning against God. Secondly, every time they compared the food in Egypt to the food in the wilderness they wished to go back to the past. They were willing to go back to slavery because they liked the food! They seemed to forget that when they had the food in Egypt they cried to God to be freed from slavery.

They could not be satisfied because they were looking for happiness in things instead of looking to God. Their sin and self centeredness was so great, that nothing could make them happy. They were constantly looking back to the past and focusing on one part of the past that seemed better than what they currently had in the wilderness. What did they have in the wilderness? The had freedom from slavery, God providing all of their needs and they had the presence of God with them. They had God with them, in a cloud by day and in fire by night, and it still was not enough. They were not content with what God had provided for them. They were not content with God. God was not enough.

This realization was a slap in the face for me. I thought back to the time I lived in the house I longed for and remembered that when I lived there I was not a Christian. I saw how my looking back and yearning for the comforts of that house was sinning against God. I saw I was not being thankful to God for providing for me and for where He had presently brought me. I was sinning and wishing to go back to a time when I was not a Christian as long as I could live in that house. I was acting just like the Israelites. My thoughts of longing for my old home, in the eyes of God, amounted to me saying I was willing to give up my freedom in Christ to live in the comforts of my previous house. I was not living in the present. I was living in the past.

Is not what the Israelites had what we have today in Jesus? We are free from judgment, He provides for us and His life is within us by the power of the Holy Spirit. Is that not enough for us? How many times in our lives do we complain or wish for the past, for things to be different, to have more money, success, or material things, because if we have those things we will then be content, fulfilled and happy. The Israelites thought the same way, but because of their sin they could not see God and be content with what God had provided for them. They could only see what brought them pleasure. Pleasure is not long lasting, it is only temporary.

Jesus saved us from the slavery of our sin, provided for us as the payment that we could not provide for ourselves and has given us life, life in Him. When we are content and fulfilled in Jesus we can then be content with whatever God has provided for us and not wish for the grass that seems greener on the other side.

As soon as I saw my sin, I humbly repented and asked for forgiveness. Within a week or so a house came on the market that seemed perfect and was priced around the same price we sold our previous home in the short sale. The homes were selling so fast, so we immediately scheduled a showing through our realtor. We could not believe that house was still available. It had been on the market for about three days.

I immediately saw the similarities when we walked up to the house, but everything seemed to be a little bit better. The outside was everything that my husband had wanted in a house. Within two minutes of walking inside the house we knew it was the house we both wanted. We both loved it. It was the same model house as the one we sold in the short sale, but flipped. The bedrooms were on the other side of the house.

In the house we previously sold we had remodeled every room in the house except the master bath. In this house every room had been remodeled except the children’s bathroom. The dining room was designed the way I wished it would have been designed in our previous house. I knew this was an act of mercy from God. By letting go of the past and what I thought would bring me happiness, I was able to rely on God to provide for us. I let go of what I though I wanted from the past and He brought such a blessing to us. I let go of my selfish desire and desired to glorify God. I wanted to desire what God’s desire was.

God was so merciful and gracious to us. After moving in the new house the man who used to mow the lawn for the previous owners stopped at the house one day when he saw my husband outside. He told my husband how lucky he was because he had been waiting for the day that house would come on the market because he wanted to buy it. When my husband told me this, I again, thanked God for this blessing.

I thank God for moving me from the house of the past and for bringing me to where I am today. The house I’m living in really is not the most important thing to me. The most important thing to me is that now I have God in my life, I personally know Jesus, I have been freed from the slavery of sin and I have life in Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus is truly my home, not my earthy house.

Oh, One other thing, this new house is two minutes away from our last home. What a gracious, merciful and loving God we have.

  1. Where or who are you looking back to and desiring from the past?
  2. What area in your life are you looking back instead of living in the present?
  3. Where do you find yourself thinking the grass is greener on the other side? If you only had what the Jones had?
  4. Where do you find yourself thinking you know you would be happy if you had a different job, spouse, house, more money, car, body, etc?
  5. Is Jesus enough for you? Does Jesus provide you with what you need, or are you always looking for something better?

Marriage: How I Was Able to Honor Male Headship

If we do not apply God’s Biblical word to our marriages, we will be buried deep in anger, disappointment, resentment and a fight for rightness and control. If I had only wanted to know this, or how God could even be the center of my marriage, years of strife may have been prevented. Instead of understanding that marriage was going to reveal our sins and a Christian marriage was to be a place to help each other grow with love and grace, we both drowned in our self-centered pride.

After the newness of the marriage wore off and I began to see the truth of who my husband was, I was devastated. I felt tricked because I felt the man I was seeing soon after marriage was not the man I dated or married. I felt I truly had not known him. I had no idea that seeing another side to him was to be expected as we spent every day together and could no longer hide who we truly are.

When the shock wore off, resentment took over my heart. As my resentment grew, my self-righteousness inflated. One way I justified my self righteousness was by focusing on the things that my husband and I did not have in common. I had mentally developed a long list of how different we were, which meant in my mind that we had to be incompatible.

As self-righteousness inflated I became more right in my eyes. I could not see anything wrong with myself. I was the one trying to keep our marriage together. I am sure that everyone outside of my marriage could see my imperfections, but those imperfections did not have as much as an impact on friends or family. It is in the marriage that my imperfections were felt the hardest because they were inflicted on the one person that I had pledged to love, honor and cherish for the rest of my life.

After I became a Christian God dropped a bombshell on my heart. He revealed to me how alike my husband and I truly were. God allowed me, by self examination, to see into my heart. When I married my husband I was self-centered, self-righteous, prideful, greedy, selfish and to some extent, lacking compassion and empathy. God allowed me to see that all the attributes I had labeled onto my husband also belonged on myself. I did not marry someone completely different than me. I married someone just like me. Without God, that is a recipe for destruction.

When two people come into a marriage and each person is only thinking about themselves and their own desires and expectations, many times it will lead to divorce. Each person will only think about what is wrong with the other instead of examining their own heart and motivations, asking God to reveal the sin in their heart, cleanse their heart and change their desires.

By the grace of God, my eyes could see. I was horrified with the reality of who I was. The curse God placed upon Adam and Eve after they ate the fruit of the tree rang in my heart. Genesis 3:16-17 “To the woman he said,…..your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” To Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree…”

Eve told Adam to eat the fruit and Adam chose to listen to her instead of following God’s instructions to not eat the fruit. Not only did Adam blame Eve as the reason he ate the fruit instead of taking accountability for his own actions, he placed Eve’s authority over God’s. The result of this disobedience is a curse that will cause enmity in a marriage. The woman will want to rule over the husband. This is a result of Adam’s fall to sin. I could see how my husband and I had been living in the same way. I led my husband and he listened. How dare I lead my husband away from God’s authority?

I prayed and asked for forgiveness. I asked God to cleanse and change my heart and my desires. God answered my prayer and changed the desire of my heart. I no longer wanted to be that person. I hated the sin of that person. I wanted to be the model of a wife that God reveals to us in the Bible. I no longer wanted to be the head of the household. I no longer wanted to be in control of my husband, my marriage, or my family.

In today’s world it is typical to hear a man refer to his wife as the one being in charge. In the past I reveled to be referred to in that manner. It now made me cringe. How could I want to emasculate my husband in that manner? How could I revel in my power and control over him and the family? God clearly refers to the man as the head of the household. 1 Corth 11:3 “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”

I earnestly began to step back from the role of ruler of the house and lovingly encouraged and supported my husband in his God ordained role. As a result, my husband began to confidently step into his position as head of our marriage and family. By showing love, kindness, grace and support to my husband, our marriage flourished as God became our authority.

Imagine a marriage based on God’s word as authority. Imagine a marriage where each person consistently thinks about the welfare of the other. Imagine each person asking the other where he/she is in need of improvement. Imagine each other showing grace to the other and lovingly expressing where each may need growth. Imagine praying for each other and with each other. This is a Godly marriage and it is not a fairy tale that we only see in a good fiction book. In fact, we do see it in a good non-fiction book. That book is called the Bible.

Idols: What They are and How to Identify Them

Sometimes God will allow what is important to us, what we hold most dear to our heart, to be taken away so that we may see Jesus. Sometimes what we idolize is taken away, or our biggest fears become reality. We, as sinners, can create an idol out of anything. An idol is anything that takes priority in our lives over God. An idol is what we worship instead of worshiping God. An idol can be a person, a feeling, a desire, a thing, or an activity. The more obvious idols are drugs, alcohol or porn, but have you thought about the less obvious things that can become an idol to our hearts?

Our idol may be a celebrity, a friend or spouse, shopping, exercise, food, smoking, our body, our looks, our hair, jobs, money, social status, how popular we are on social media, gossip, job status, cars, clothing, or weight loss, for example. The bottom line is that what we want or what we want to focus on has become more important to us than God.

Another way to identify an idol is to ask if this thing, person, or feeling has become what we depend upon to bring us happiness. Is it filling something that is lacking within ourself? Does shopping bring us happiness? I am not talking about a fun day out with your girlfriends. I am referring to a deep need to excessively shop and purchase clothes or material items that we most likely truly did not need, but when we bought them it brought us happiness.

Here is the trick of the idol. We may mistake them as what will bring us happiness, but what we created as our idol will only bring pleasure. Unfortunately, pleasure is only temporary. This explains why we have to repeatedly go, shopping, for instance, because we crave the feeling shopping brings us.

Imagine if our person of worship is God. When our eyes are set on Jesus we are fulfilled with true happiness, joy and everlasting love. We will long for Jesus and to know Him by reading His word and studying scripture. We will long to commune with Jesus daily through prayer. The love for Christ will fill our hearts as the Holy Spirit cleanses our hearts of our idols. We find a love for scripture that we seem to thirst and hunger for, because Jesus now satisfies our cravings.

  1. If you find yourself in a season of suffering, or at the lowest point in your life, how will you respond?
  2. Will you deflect, find excuses, or blame others? Your response will be accounted for.
  3. Can you see your idols and identify them? If not, pray for God to open your eyes to recognize the idols in your heart.
  4. What is distracting you from seeing Jesus?
  5. During your time of suffering, whatever that suffering may be, will you turn towards Jesus, or will you turn away?
  6. Making excuses, deflecting, blaming = turning away from Jesus. Admitting your sin, asking for forgiveness, repenting = turning towards Jesus. I pray you turn to Jesus.