I always felt like God was so far away, distant, out in the universe somewhere. I saw Him as something impersonal, not really with me and did not know if he really even heard me when I prayed to Him. If He did hear me I did not think he was even paying attention to me unless I was in formal prayer to Him. Although I believed in God, I did not consider myself to have or want a personal relationship with God for most of my life. I never even considered that I could have a personal relationship with God.

I spent most of my life avoiding God and His existence instead of remembering Him and wanting to know Him. After all, I was preoccupied with living my life the way I wanted to, doing the things I wanted and did not want anyone telling me to live any differently. I felt that those people who referred to God all the time and lived according to God’s ways went overboard. I thought I was the one who was living the right way. I thought the right way was believing in Jesus, but never talking about Him or changing the way I live. I felt the people who did live that way took religion too seriously.

I thought, overall, I was a good person. I was a Girl Scout troop leader for my daughter’s troop for three years. I hosted parties at my house for family, I put sincere thought into gifts I bought, I helped organize events for friends and family, I volunteered at my children’s school and volunteered at church. Sure, I had negative thoughts about people and judged their actions, but, hey, everyone does that. Just because my thoughts were hate filled sometimes does not mean I am not a good person, right? I soon had an experience that flipped all of my worldly views about goodness upside down.

When I truly became a Christian in February 2014, my son had already been engaged. The wedding date was set for May of that year. As a family, we had taken his fiancé, Samantha, under our wing. We became her primary family because her father had passed away a few years earlier and her mother was not living local. For this reason, we decided to offer our house to her as the place she and her bridesmaids could use to get ready on her wedding day. My son was able to us his apartment for him and his groomsmen.

Because we were financially recovering from the housing industry crash, we were renting a house during this time. For that reason, the yard improvements were the responsibility of the owners of the home. From the day we had moved into the home the mulch in the flower beds had been washed away. Left exposed was the black tarp that was laid underneath the mulch as a barrier for weeds.

One morning as I was leaving the house, I drove slowly by the front of the house and took notice of the black tarp in the flower beds. I thought about how nice it would be to have mulch in the flower beds so the yard would look nice if Samantha wanted to take pictures outside the day of the wedding. I did not share my thoughts with anyone. It was just a passing thought as I drove by the front of the house.

One morning, a week or so later, I backed out of the garage as I was leaving for the gym. As I looked out down the driveway, I hit the breaks. Sitting in the street in front of our house was a huge pile of mulch. I was stunned and began to tremble and cry. Since I did not see anyone shoveling the mulch I did not want to jump to conclusions. It could have been intended for a neighbor’s house, so I told myself to stay calm, go to the gym and wait to see if anyone is shoveling the mulch when I get back home.

On the way home, with anticipation, I slowly eased around the corner near the house. As I rounded the corner I saw several men shoveling the mulch into the flowerbeds of our house! I could not believe this way happening! I pulled into the driveway, put the car in park and I just sat there for a moment thanking God and absorbing what was taking place.

I began to scream with delight in my head, “God heard me! You heard me!” I did not ask him for the mulch, it was just a passing thought I had. I was not in formal prayer and God heard me! What a gift from God I had just received! A few seconds later I realized what God had done by the blessing of this gift that I did not ask for.

God just showed me that He hears every single thought I have in my head and He is right here with me. Jeremiah 23:24 “Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the Lord. Do I not fill Heaven and earth? declares the Lord.”He is everywhere. He hears my wishes, dreams and thoughts. Then, I was humbled and faced with the ugliness of my heart when I also realized that God has heard every single negative hate filled thought I have ever had about another person.

That moment I just had with God was very real, very personal and personalized to reveal His all encompassing presence and knowing of me and all things. He knows me inside and out. He knows me better than I know myself. In the span of a few seconds I felt joy like I had never felt before and then, with a flip of a switch, a deep horror knowing that nothing is secret from God. Even when we think we are alone and no one can see what we are doing or what we are thinking, God is there, He sees and He knows.

God is not far away out in the Universe somewhere. His Spirit is right here with us. I never found out why the homeowners decided to replace the mulch in the flowerbeds, but I know in my heart that this was the work of God. The wedding was beautiful and because of this picture we will always have a visual reminder of God’s blessing and presence.

I no longer desire to avoid God and I pray you see or desire to experience God everywhere. Do you find yourself witnessing experiences that you chalk up to coincidences and not giving God the glory? Do you acknowledge that God has answered your prays, but then you go back to avoiding Him in your life and living for yourself? Are you avoiding God and refusing to see Him in all things? If so, I pray, if you have not already, you will ask Jesus into your heart and ask Him to allow you to see His presence in your life, in your heart and in all things. You will not be disappointed.

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